The Frank & Snowball Campaign

To answer your question, Rob, I have heard rumors that Frank has chosen his cat Snowball as his VP running mate. (I suspect that the legalization of marijuana is on the forefront of his political platform: "Legalize Marijuana!!! Heck, Let's Legalize 'Em All!!!") Snowball has turned out to be a huge asset to the campaign. Suprisingly, Frank has self-esteem and body image issues, but Snowball is always quick to give an encouraging word, such as "Frank, your body odor isn't offensive, per say. I'd call it...commanding."

"How could Frank ever have the money to run for president?", one might ask upon meeting our un-laundered friend. Over the past 30 years, Frank has scrimped and saved all the money he's swindled out of poor unassuming Hana-hiking tourists. Some have been brave enough to look him straight in the bloodshot eyes and challenge him but most tend to either cower in fear or become hypnotized by his soothing monotone voice, hence he has collected quite a large sum to launch his campaign.

If you haven't had the chance to meet Frank, I suggest you take a quick jaunt to Hana and swing by the Napolaniohana. Upon arrival, "honk horn for service" and wait for Frank to stumble out of the bamboo forest. Snowball will probably be perched upon a vintage 1991 Ford Aerostar Van handing out campaign buttons: "VOTE FOR FRANK! HE DON'T STANK! well, actually, he does, but...VOTE FOR FRANK!" Let Frank be your guide as you tour the grounds. He will calmly point out all of your options for your night's slumber and proceed to overcharge you. Choose your own adventure: will you choose to defend the price you were previously quoted or become enraptured by his charm and contribute hords of money to his cause? All this can be discussed with Frank on the couch that is covered by a bedsheet, located in the kitchen. Be sure to enjoy the evening's entertainment of music and dancing by your upstairs neighbor. J-Lo is a favorite. And if you have some extra time on your hands, I've heard the Hana General Store sells fabulous muffler tape. Just turn left at the red cabbage.