In a stunning blow to his recently launched presidential campaign, Frank Crouse now faces the tough questions - questions he must have known would be coming.
For days, "Frank for President" signs have been perplexing ignorant voters. "Frank who?," they cried. Our source, who shall remain nameless, has gone deep undercover to unearth the following startling clues into the life of this man/beast.
1. "Frank" is officially Frank Crouse of Hana, Maui - owner, manager, and custodian of Na Pualani O Hana, also known as Frank's Flower Farm.
2. Although internationally known as a wonderful place to lay one's head on a soft, inviting pile of cat dander after a long day of hiking on the road to Hana, the Na Pualani O Hana has actually received some controversial reviews.
http://www.discoveringhawaii.com/Is_Maui/MAHotelHanaMaui.html
http://travelsense.igougo.com/planning/journalEntryAccommodation.asp?JournalID=40037&EntryID=16906
3. In 1999, Frank served honorably as Grand Marshall of the Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade and Rally during Pride Month in Hawaii. Frank's own sexuality is unknown at this time, and we assume most people prefer it that way.
4. Unfortunately, Frank has yet to be captured by photograph. Even a poor quality shot of Frank is in higher demand than pictures of the Jolie/Pitt baby. On the other hand, anyone who has seen Frank in person has had his image indelibly burned into their minds, thus, for them, photographs would be meaningless.
(For those wondering, the key facts listed above are all true, yes, even the part about the Grand Marshall)
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1 comment:
Wow, those comments about Frank's place were pretty brutal. Poor Frank Crouse.
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