As if I don't have enough emotional instability in my life (what with the pressures of trying to stay afloat on this blog), I have been called to be the Primary Chorister (try to hold back the smiles of sweet revenge, Julie). In the midst of trying to convince myself that I won't be doused with gasoline and burned alive for trying to sing in public, I came across a music video that made me feel infinitely more confident in my slightly tone-deaf, rhythmically challenged abilities. Special thanks to the "Hoff"...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836&q=jump+in+my+car
What?? Need more David? Try this on for size...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-720650682163363570&q=label%3Ada
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Alisa, I think you are mistaken. There is quite a lot one could learn from singer/dancer extraordinaire, David Hasselhoff. Let’s take these two videos for instance and see what nuggets we can glean and then apply them to your calling af Primary Chorister.
-A lazy eye adds mystique when in front of a crowd.
-It is best for back up singers (perhaps during “Do as I’m Doing) to wear blue eye shadow.
-With one hand, hook thumb into belt loop and then lead with the other hand. Standing with feet apart and one knee slightly bent really adds some pizzazz.
-When singing “In the Leafy Treetops” or any other song that does not require hand gestures, go ahead and dance. Use some of David’s moves such as: the fake punch, playing an air guitar, swaying with while giving two thumbs up, or demonstrate one’s best karate kicks. When using any of these moves, it is important to bite one’s lower lip. Add some subtle touches such as winks and snapping.
-If possible, make sure there is a small patch of chest hair peeking out of one’s shirt. There’s nothing wrong with sex appeal.
-Tack old pictures of oneself onto the Primary bulletin board. One must remind his/her audience of one’s younger and more successful years in hopes of being taken seriously.
-Dress one’s children up in angel costumes and tether them from the ceiling so they hang and glide through the air during Singing time, to make a strong, emotional religious statement.
-Consider dressing monochromatically, and adding a cape to instantly transform into a bird. Make sure to over lip-sing while “flying” so that the children can be prompted on what words to sing.
-Bring in a Fisher Price keyboard and add disco beats to the Primary songs. The “Once there was a Snowman” remix could be a huge hit.
p.s. - alisa, those videos are solid gold.
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