Grocery Grammar

I found myself in quite a pickle while grocery shopping at Fred Meyer last night. This was only my second time shopping at this store, so I am still trying to learn the lay of the land. I'd done all of my shopping, but I still had a couple of stray items on my list that I hadn't been able to locate - cottage cheese and frozen dinner rolls. I headed over to the dairy section to have a second look, but was stopped dead in my tracks. Straight ahead, due north, was a rather large woman stocking the yogurt. She was bent way over, exposing me to a plethora of butt dimples visible through her tight black polyester uniform pants. I was aghast. How could I possibly ask this woman to point me to the cottage cheese?? Uh, excuse me ma'am, where do you keep the cottage cheese? (Obvious retort: on my thighs you skinny skank!) Please note that I refer to myself as "skinny" in only the most relative of terms. Okay, I decide, I CANNOT ask this woman about cottage cheese. The only other item left on my list? Rolls.... I was completely on my own.